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Its interested in its own power. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. - George Carlin profile quotes. I look at war a little. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Its a great feeling. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); q("f", arguments) Actually, I think that class was called Religion. The planet is fine. Everybodys going to save something now. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. You should die first, get it out of the way. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 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Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! 1. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. function q(c, r) { BAM! - George Carlin quotes. It's a big club and you ain't in it. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. George Carlin var googletag = googletag || {}; Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. 4. Tax them. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. They own, and control the corporations. "I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. You don't. You have no choice. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. George Carlin. init: function() { If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. You have owners. George Carlin, 84. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. Deal with it. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); Its so f***ing heroic. //= 2; // retina display Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? The only country that could invade America is America! October 29, 2004. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. Enjoy! Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Try spelling Evian backward. 4. This is what we have to offer. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. Thats the problem. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. They will do anything for the unborn. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. //]]> While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. I've set my own rules to live by. Right in the fucking head! } apstag.init({ googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). You have owners. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. And the supreme arrogance? [CDATA[ 3. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. .__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.authorModuleDropdownMenu{width:180px;border-left:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-right:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-top:1px solid #D8D8D8}.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink,.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink:hover{display:block;text-align:left;padding:12px;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;color:#000000;cursor:pointer}#authorInfo{display:-webkit-box;display:-moz-box;display:-ms-box;display:box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-moz-flex;display:-ms-flex;display:flex;padding:10px 10px 5px 10px}#authorInfo .authorInfoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:1;-moz-box-flex:1;-ms-box-flex:1;box-flex:1}#authorInfo .authorPhotoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:0;-moz-box-flex:0;-ms-box-flex:0;box-flex:0;margin-right:10px}#authorInfo .authorFollow{display:flex}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{border-radius:3px;border:1px solid #D6D0C4;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;-moz-appearance:none;-o-appearance:none;-webkit-appearance:none;appearance:none;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-decoration:none;color:#333333;background-color:#F4F1EA;line-height:1;padding:8px 12px;font-size:16px;padding:12px 24px;box-sizing:border-box;text-align:center;margin-left:0px;padding:0px;min-width:38px;height:32px;background-image:url(/assets/down-caret.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:center;float:right}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{border-color:#DDDDDD}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:hover{color:#333333;background-color:#ede6d6;text-decoration:none}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:active{background-color:#D6D0C4}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{background-color:#F3F3F3;color:#cccccc}@media (max-width: 540px){#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{min-width:20px;width:27px}}#authorBooks{*zoom:1}#authorBooks:after{content:"";display:table;clear:both}#authorBooks .sectionTitle{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;padding:10px 10px 0 10px;margin:0}.accordionContent{padding:0 10px}.authorBio{padding:0 10px;margin-bottom:10px}.authorBooksMeta{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;padding:0 10px}.authorBooksMeta a{color:#00635D}.authorBooksTotalReviewCount:before,.authorBooksTotalRatingCount:before{content:"\00b7"}.authorDetailsList dt,.authorDetailsList dd{display:inline;margin:0}.authorDetailsList dd:after{content:'\A';white-space:pre}.authorDetailsList dt{font-weight:bold}.authorDetailsList dd{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;margin-bottom:15px}.authorDetailsList dd a{color:#00635D}.authorSimilarAuthorsLink{padding:0 10px}.authorDistinctWorksLink{padding:0 10px;display:block;margin-bottom:10px}.authorFansLink{font-weight:bold}.authorInterviewsList{list-style-type:none;margin:0;padding:0}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterview{margin-bottom:15px}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt a{color:#00635D}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewTitle{display:block}.authorName{margin-bottom:10px}.authorShortBio{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorShortBio a{color:#00635D}.authorQuotesLink{margin-bottom:15px}.quotesList{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;margin-top:15px}.quotesPage{margin-left:10px}.noQuotes{margin-top:15px} The challenge is to find it. I have certain rules I live by. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { Well, we know what they want. It doesnt only represent the good things. George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? Did you enjoy this article? The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. Were so self-important. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. Period. } We think in language. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not.

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