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The game is rigged. ", 19. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 Board Messages . Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. You're down to seven. The challenge is to find it. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Don't miss a beat. Over time, though, his success grew. ", 37. ", 32. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. The Monday night crucifixions! No president has done right by us. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. ", 29. [] I look at war a little bit differently. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You should die first; get it out of the way. He saw it from a . "There's a humorous side to every situation. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Why? "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. This cookie is used for email services. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. You only get to hear cats. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. ", 97. They want obedient workers. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! They dont give a fuck about you. F*ck Hope. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. Forget the politicians. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You think your current financial. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. George Carlin, I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. A Death! When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin. The truth is that George Carlin would be branded a left-wing nut job who has pie-in-the-sky ideas and wants people to collect money for doing nothing. ", 11. ", 52. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. ", 14. This is what we have to offer. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. George Carlin's 'Wake Up America' bit went viral in July 2020. ", 122. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. 42. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town, the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with "pro-life" rhetoric while simultaneously attacking social . How do school teachers handle this? The rights and the rights of property. AddThis sets this cookie to ensure that the updated count is seen when one shares a page and returns to it, before the share count cache is updated. ", 103. ", 121. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. They own you. Whats that, a bonus? They should be more vivid. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. This cookie is set by Prebid Server. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' You have owners. Everybodys going to save something now. This cookie is set by the BlueConic. The Great George Carlin. Then you live in an old age home. ""Deep Throat: Think about it. "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. Try spelling Evian backward. But once the child is born? Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. ' Avoid teams at all costs. 41. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. 1. AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. Going after racists, sexists, fascists, and aiming to bring those who try to restrict freedom to justice. "Everyone smiles in the same language. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. They dont give a fuck about you. They've got you by the balls. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. I just dont have as many people who believe it. AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Thats right. Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. After that, they don't wanna know about you. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media He missed this one. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. Everybody complains about politicians. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Theyre not interested in that. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech.  Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. It will not be with jack-boots. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. Now, some people like to twist that around. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. . ", 48. Change). Everybody complains about politicians. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. and if you want to make this about "comedy" then Carlin should tell these things called "jokes". They own everything. ", 50. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store information about when a visitor has visited the site before. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. ", 34. But dont participate; it will be your death. ", 102. ", 112. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". They dont wanna hear from you. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Everybody says they suck. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. They're all in favor of the unborn. ", 10. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. 01. Its a big club and you aint in it. "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. But, he is wrong here. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. They own you. "It's never just a game when you're winning. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. they don't wanna know about you. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. ", 33. If you can't beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. It takes up a lot of your time. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. It creates a hostile work environment. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? You have no right to complain. You have no choice. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. George Carlin quotes are hilarious. A cat . "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Thats the problem. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. Take George Carlin, for example. That is against their interests. This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 12 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 5 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 1 hour 16 minutes. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. 44. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. After that, they dont want to know about you. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. ", 62. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Obedience, respect for authority. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? That's against their interests. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. This is set on the first visit of the visitor to the site and updated on subsequent visits. "Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year.

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